Past Lives in the New Age

Mongolian Horseman

This past Sunday, my husband and I went to the New Living Expo (formerly the New Age Expo). Normally, I really shy away from events like this because

a) Crowds completely overwhelm me
b) Some of the stuff that is "sold" at these events really pushes the limit for me.

But my husband is thinking about creating a new business and wanted to do some research, and I wanted to connect with someone regarding past life exploration.

I've always been interested in past lives and their affects on this current life.  I often have really vivid dreams that invoke another time and place, and often have an historical piece of information that can be tracked back to actual waking life history.

I have also had some strange experiences, including seeing the film "Platoon" in the movie theater and having to leave in the middle of it to go stand in the lobby because it invoked such a horrible "memory" for me, of being a triage doctor on the front lines and being forced to saw people's legs off to save their lives.  Now mind you, I was 12 years old when that film came out, so it was me and several Vietnam Vets in the lobby, freaking out and trying to hold it together. I remember wanting to go sit with them and talk about the feelings I was having, but I knew that wouldn't be received too well.

Now, you can imagine how many psychics, clairvoyants, auric readers, etc. were present at this event.  My husband and I cruised the whole place, making sure I could make an informed decision. I immediately ruled out the "flashy" psychics (some of them literally had flashing neon signs in their booth!) and focused more on the "feeling" I got when I walked by a booth.  It was interesting to feel how differently each person felt!  Some felt very "aggressive" in the sense that they knew I was tuning into them and they didn't like it(?) and some felt very "empty" like they couldn't handle being in such a big crowd and had totally turned off.

I ended up choosing one of the larger booths that had a whole series of psychics sitting in folding chairs, waiting for clients to sit down. There were only two booths like that - The Aesclepions and the Berkeley Psychic Institute (BPI).  Now I have had bad experiences with both these organizations(!) but the experience with the Aesclepions was minor compared to BPI so I went with the Aesclepions.

A very kind man sat me down in front of a woman, who felt very good, energy-wise. She had me say my full name three times and we were off!

She had some interesting things to say about past lives that are affecting this life. Apparently I have had many past lives, but these certain four were "limiting" my soul in this life.

The first one she told me about was my life as a Mongolian tribesman.  I was part of a tribe, whose focus was horses and for a long time we lived an idyllic, easy life.  But then some invaders came and killed my whole family and destroyed most of my tribe. I escaped and lived as a loner nomad for the rest of my days.

She said that this fear of being attacked has stayed with me very deeply. I spend a lot of my life hiding, and making sure I am safe. Being a young girl in the 70's, my Mom taught me a lot about self-defense and to always be aware of my surroundings.  I was always the girl at the party who knew where all possible emergency exits were.  I am also very protective of my home and my "tribe" - my family.  But then, isn't everyone?

The second life she told me about was my life as a Russian war doctor, in a time before penicillin was invented (there are more wars than I can count that could pertain to this). In this life, I cried out to God that I never, ever wanted to be a doctor in war-time again because I didn't have the right tools and resources to save these young lives.  This may be where my "Platoon" flashbacks were coming from?

She said that I have great gifts as a healer, but I am scared to use them and feel like I did in that Russian life. I do have some gifts in that department and studied shamanic practices of various tribes in my life, but I was always very frightened by the idea of taking someone's pain into my body.

The third life is the most mundane, as far as trauma goes, and yet it made me the most frightened and furious when I heard about it.  In this life, I am a wealthy woman who has been arranged to be married. I am excited because it is my best friend, but without my knowledge he has changed his mind and committed himself to someone else.  I end up marrying the man who always loved me but I never gave the time of day.  He loved me deeply and I loved him to the best of my abilities, but my heart still belonged to this schmuck that married someone else (apparently he had a "terrible marriage" and I felt vindicated by that?).

The part that filled my face with heat and rage was when she said that this man I wanted to marry slapped me in public. Apparently that was a very bad thing in the Hindu culture (and still is, I'm sure).

She said in this life that I don't love my husband with all of my heart(!) and I am distracted by another man who does not love me in the same way.  Now this was definitely true of past relationships, to be sure, but I love my husband with all my heart.  My head turns when I see a cute guy on the street, and I have little crushes on friends, but I love my husband far beyond a silly crush. 

The last life was apparently "hiding" from us.  It did not want to be seen or acknowledged. At this point, she had gone twice as long as any of the other psychics and the nice man who seated me came up and touched her shoulder and told her it was time to stop. She said she would "send me a dream" about this life. I'm not sure if I received it, but I did dream of a dynamic little baby last night.

In this life, she told me quickly, I was incredibly psychic and clairvoyant. I was so sensitive in fact, that I couldn't function very well in real life and died very early. This life was very, very frightened to be seen and that desire to "not be seen" is very prevalent in my current life.  I do resonate with that a bit.  I have known that I have had deep clairvoyant gifts and I have been very frightened to use them because of how overwhelming it is to feel them.

I remember being a little kid in the grocery store line and I stared at the man in front of us, because I was bored.  I started to feel this overwhelming sense of despair, like I wanted to kill myself or kill my feelings quickly (the guy was buying mass quantities of booze).  I was only about six years old, so those feelings were pretty foreign to me.  He turned around and looked at me and it felt like I had been slapped across the face.  I started crying and my Mom couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

She used to say that I was so sensitive that I was "disabled."  So I blocked it out. 

Perhaps it is time to explore those gifts again...who knows?

And yes, I do take this all with a huge grain of salt.  I really look at it all as a dream.  It could all be true, or not, but it is still interesting to think about!

After she described each past life to me, she "cleared" it.  Apparently these past lives can be cleared energetically and by the way we live our life and you need both to clean it away.  I think this might be what karma is. She said it was easy to clear them, except for that sneaky clairvoyant at the end.  I guess I have more work to do with her!

Into Great Silence

My husband and I went to see the film Into Great Silence (or Die Grosse Stille in German) today.

It was a bit like a meditation, watching the film. It is two hours and 44 minutes long and you really feel it, but not necessarily in a bad way. The film documents, in a quiet and beautiful way, the lives of monks living in The Grande Chartreuse, the "mother house" of the legendary Carthusian Order in the French Alps.

I was really struck with the power of sound and the power of silence. All the residents of the monastery stay silent while indoors, but let it all loose (as much as they are capable) when they go out into nature. It was fascinating to watch them accomplish their chores. Everything was so beautiful and old, including the tools they used. It seemed that everything was made of wood or stone, but every now and then, something startling would appear, like modern bicycle wheels on the ancient wooden cart that delivered the food to the individuals cells.

A still from the film "Into Great Silence"

I left the theater feeling very calm and peaceful and spent some time with the flowers in my garden when I returned home. My favorite monk was the gnome-like gardener and food preparer. The French Alps get hit pretty hard by the snow, and watching this amazing man working in the snow to dig out his garden beds, so he could plant new seeds for vegetables to feed his brothers brought tears to my eyes.

My husband enjoyed it as well, but was a little disturbed by the rigidity of monastic life. I wouldn't last very long in any situation that demanded I be and act a specific way. Their faith is fundamentalism in a beautiful way, but fundamentalism none the less.

If you are in the mood for a three-hour visual meditation, and are not put off by Christian ideals, I highly recommend seeing this film in the theaters.

I Belong Here

Miranda July and I went to U.C. Santa Cruz at the same time. I loved her zine, "Snarla" and once tried to talk to her about how much I enjoyed it and her approach to the world. She ignored me and talked to the cute boy standing next to me instead.

"Don't Give Up" a photo of Miranda July by Sydney photographer Dan Boud

We were all so young then. I have since forgiven her slight of my eager wish to be friends because I was so lost and crazy at 19, I can only imagine what she was going through, and she is still making really fantastic art that makes me smile and inspires me.

Check out her latest website, promoting her new book, No One Belongs Here More Than You.

Brilliant!

I'm a Scanner... She's a Scanner

Wouldn't you like to be a Scanner too?

My Mom gave me an interesting book to read during our Easter Brunch, which she says changed her life. It's called Refuse to Choose! It's written by Barbara Sher who is the New York Times best-selling author of Wishcraft and I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What it Was...

The main premise of the book is that many people in the world are Scanners. I have to say, this name is a little unsettling to me, because in my mind, I go directly to Phillip K. Dick.

But Barbara is talking about people in the world who "just can't choose one single career path." Some examples of what a Scanner might say are: "I'm fascinated by something new every week," or "I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?" Sounds like someone with ADD? She addresses that too, saying that those with ADD have trouble concentrating for long periods of time, whereas Scanners can actually stay focused very easily, they just don't like to be stuck with just one job/career/hobby for the rest of their lives.

Barbara Sher with her cute, little dog! (photo by Mindy Stricke)

I have to say that after reading this book, I do feel a lot better. I always admired the people in my life who have always known what they wanted to be and followed a clear and laid out path to get there. I myself, have tasted and dabbled, never wanting to commit or "settle" on just one career. I wish I wanted to, but I could never just settled in to one career path. It felt suffocating to me.

That's why the life of an Interfaith minister suits me so well, because to be a good minister I have to have a wide range of experiences and understanding of diverse cultures and ideas. It's helpful to go see a show at the Asian Art Museum, followed by one of the latest blockbuster movies. I read mythology and books on string theory. I've learned how to care for my neighbors rabbits and learned the ins and outs of worm farming. I love learning new things, reading new books, seeing new documentaries...and some part of my soul has felt bad about that. I think to myself, "I shouldn't be wasting my time with this, I should be buckling down and starting my career."

But what if this is my career? Dibbling and dabbling and learning and creating...sharing my ideas with others (blogs are perfect for Scanners) and keeping my soul alive.

If you resonate with any of this, I highly recommend you read Refuse to Choose!

The Birth of the Church of Craft

Boise, Idaho's Church of Craft logo

I felt the call to ministry relatively early in my life, although I didn't call it "ministry" until I was in my early 20's. It began in high school, when someone pointed out to me that I knew and was friends with almost every single clique in school. I could hold my own with the boys in Auto Shop (and yes, they were all boys), keep up smart and biting commentary with the Honor Students, and get crazy with the Drama Kids. I even had a special connection with some of the kids in Special Education. I think this was true, in part, because I was such a good listener. Being the child of two dreamworking,
counseling, ministering parents, I was raised in a home of deep listening and feeling—two key pieces to being a minister.

I also had a deep love of creating and making art. Again, just as I had never called myself a "minister," I also never called myself an "artist." It turns out that I was both! In college, everyone I ever lived with was an artist. I myself made collages and drawings regularly in my journals and notebooks. Yet because I was surrounded by artists who were being formally trained, and I was studying anthropology, I saw myself more as an outsider, watching and learning from my artist friends but not actually one myself.

After college, I moved to San Francisco and connected with a wild bunch of artists who loosely collected themselves in an Art Movement called "The Cubby". There was a rock show, a zine, and even a cable access television show. I began gathering and collaborating with this wonderful group of artists. We would have regular meetings at various people's houses, and make things together.

A cover I drew for the Cubby Missallete, a zine put out by The Cubby

In the meantime, I noticed that many of my friends who made things often created alone. When we created as a group, we had a wonderful time and connected deeply with each other. I started hosting monthly Craft Ons at various people's houses and before rock shows. At these same rock shows I was asked to introduce many of the bands performing. I soon developed this "preacher" character I called The Rev. Miss Myrtle Motivation. Whenever I took on her persona, I would preach to the jaded indie rock kids to create every day and “craft” their own lives.

In October 2000, I was visiting some good friends in New York and I shared my creative, ministerial experiences. They insisted I re-connect with an old friend from Santa Cruz, CA, Callie Janoff, who had ordained herself over the Internet (through the Universal Life Church) and was officiating weddings for many of her friends. When I met with Callie, I shared the experience of my "Craft On" gatherings, which she really resonated with.

On that day, the Church of Craft was born. It's been six years now and the Church has gone through many transformations. We are now an international organization, with churches in different parts of the country and the world.

Callie Janoff, Co-Founder of the Church of Craft

The Church of Craft San Francisco has met in cafes, art studios, public parks, bars, art galleries, bedrooms, and during rock shows. We currently have found a home at the most delightful Rock, Paper, Scissors Collective. It's a wonderful place in Oakland, CA that encourages everyone to make
things themselves. They have a cute store of handmade goods, sold on consignment, as well as a fantastic art gallery. We have finally found our home, after much wandering!

In the past, we have crafted as a group for others, including having knit-ins for peace during war protests, making scarves for the homeless, and making dolls for children in Oakland's Children Hospital. I enjoyed those projects immensely, but they took a lot of time, energy and money. Currently the Church is in a much more freestyle form. We meet once a month and everyone brings their own project to work on. We share food, craft supplies, inspiration and ideas with each other.

The act of making something is so powerful. When we make something, we are far less likely to throw it away when it no longer serves its purpose. Instead, we give it away or recycle it into something else. If we had a culture that made the majority of the things we needed, imagine how the
landfills would shrink and disappear!

There is also a deep sense of accomplishment when we make something ourselves. When we take the time to learn a craft, do and undo until we get it right and finally finish it, it is an amazing feeling!

Our first Church of Craft baby is about to be born (in March 2007). We truly are a church community that supports and cares for each other. It feels wonderful!

Iris Pearl Fisher-Kirwan, the first Church of Craft baby born!

The Church of Craft San Francisco's denomination is quite diverse, with a range of age, gender and ethnicity. Every now and then I sit back and am in awe of this amazing group of people. It really hits home for me, the power of combing faith and action, which Jim Wallis speaks about in his book, Faith Works: Lessons from the Life of an Activist Preacher. Wallis says:

When put into action, faith has the capacity to bring people together, to motivate, and to inspire, even across former dividing lines. We demonstrate our faith by putting it into practice. Conversely, if we don't keep the power of faith in the actions we undertake, our efforts can easily lead to burnout, bitterness, and despair. The call to action can preserve the authenticity of faith, while the power of faith can save the integrity of our actions. As the biblical apostle James put it, 'Faith without works is dead.

Callie and I had a vision and we had something we believed in. Our faith was that we knew making art could be a spiritual practice and could create community when done together. We acted on this faith, and the Church of Craft was born.

Through this journey with the formation, growth and transformation of The Church of Craft, I more deeply understand that spirit can be found anywhere and with anybody. I am honored to provide a place for those who want to gather and make to come together and find fellowship and community through the act of creation.

I hope my story will inspire you to create something out of your faith and belief. What is lacking in your life and in the world? What can you create to fill that void?

REFERENCES

Born to Serve: The Evolution of the Soul Through Service by Susan S. Trout, Ph.D. with a forward by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Three Roses Press, 1997.

The Impossible will Take a Little While: A Citizen's Guide to Hope in a Time of Fear edited by Paul Rogat Loeb. Basic Books, 2004.

Faith Works: Lessons from the Life of an Activist Preacher by Jim Wallis. Pagemill, 2002.

Embodying the Diety

 

Boise, Idaho Church of Craft logo

By the time I was ordained at ChI, I was very clear about my ministry and what I have to offer my fellow human beings on this earth. I know for myself, and others, that creating/making, can be a spiritual practice. It certainly is for me. That is why I co-created the Church of Craft, in which congregants meet once a month to create together in community. It started in October 2000; now there are churches all over the world.

Along with the Church of Craft, I have my own spiritual practice of art-making which is closely connected to my dream life. I’d love to share one of those experiences with you.

In 2002, I had been doing a lot of work with my female power and understanding the creative and destructive force of passion and anger. On the night of Imbolc (a holiday from the oldest times about turning obstacles into openings) I had a dream that I titled “Craft Kali.”

I am sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of other people, waiting to be born. There are lots of good magazines to read and wonderful music playing on the speakers. All of a sudden, the Hindu Goddess Kali’s voice reverberates through my head as she tells all of us that it is time to be born. We all get up and form a line at a curtained entrance. When it is my turn, I go through the curtain and slide down a long, curving slide. The walls are lined with burgundy felt. As I slide down Kali’s birth canal, I think how crafty she is to use felt on the walls of her womb! It feels good against my hands as I slide down, and I’m not so worried about what will meet me on the other side. I am born on my parent’s street, the street I grew up on in waking life. On the corner is a large Victorian house that I often dream about. There are no doors but many windows, and I peer inside at all the beautiful art nouveau furniture and wonder how I can get inside. Kali’s voice booms through my head again, telling me that this is my ministry and I need to get to work. I am nervous and worried about this prospect, yet I also feel elated and excited.

 

The Hindu Deity Kali-Ma

On awakening, I really felt the need to connect with the deity Kali, which at the time I knew very little about, and understand a bit more about why she might be appearing in my dreams.

Whenever I begin the process of making art with my dreams or with spirit, I start with the most accessible feeling. In this situation, it was the feeling of the felt (and there certainly is a play on words there, isn’t there?) as I was being born. I went to the fabric store and bought an array of red and burgundy felt—the store was having a sale on felt and I brought home bags of it for less than $10.

Once I got home, I spread the felt out on my craft table and there it sat for about a month. Every time I sat at my table, I would stroke the felt and remember the dream, but nothing more came to me. At the time, I was taking a class called Art & Symbolic Process with Charles Miedzinski (R.I.P.) at John F. Kennedy University. The symbol I was working with was “the vessel.” Some of the burgundy felt became a vaginally-shaped vessel covered in photos of myself as I grew from a girl to a woman. This project brought up a lot a lot for me around my body as vessel, and what I chose to put in it, and what was put into it against my will.

Through this transformative process, I had another dream. This dream was very direct: I woke up hearing Kali’s voice in my head again, asking me to let her enter my body. Needless to say, this scared me a bit, as she is typically depicted with a string of severed heads around her neck! She is the creator, but she is also the destroyer, and that aspect of my femaleness frightened me.

Full Body Cast Sculpture of Myself as Kali

Fortunately, I had some wonderful spiritual artist friends who immediately suggested that I do a full-body, plaster cast of myself as Kali. They helped me, and it became a very intense, all-day ritual as we cast my entire body—including two versions of my arms and legs holding different positions and mudras. While making the cast, we burned incense and played bhajans to Kali. It was powerful! We were three powerful women, making art and collaborating with this powerful deity energy for 8
hours straight. We were all shaking with the energy by the end of the day.

I felt as if I was “dancing in the flames.” As discussed in Marion Woodman & Elinor Dickson’s wonderful book Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness: “Feminine consciousness is the transformative energy that can contain the energies of matter and,
through the fire of love, connect them to the energies of the soul.” I was allowing my own fiery passion to dance through my body, letting it purify, destroy and create inside of me.

I ended up showing this body cast in several shows around the Bay Area. At each opening, I was asked, “Aren’t you embarrassed to have your naked body on display?” But when I looked at this amazing work of art, all I saw was the fierce, feminine power of Kali-Ma being embodied in
my own flesh, and that felt extremely powerful and wonderful! In fact, it was quite a transformation for me to show my body in this way, since I have struggled with body issues from the time I was about 8 years old.

Seeing Kali-Ma in my body form helped me to see my own body as a holy vessel. Since that experience, my body image has greatly improved. I am not so hard myself when I look in the mirror. I learned how to love myself in a new way. Through that transformation, I opened myself up to love and intimacy, and ended up meeting the most wonderful man in the world, and marrying him! Before creating this piece, I wasn’t capable of opening myself to the kind of intense, deep love that a true marriage has to be.

I continue to do artwork like this, working intimately with my spiritual practice and the spirits and deities that guide me. I look forward to sharing more experiences and ideas with you in future columns!

REFERENCES

Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness by Marion Woodman.
Singing to the Goddess: Poems to Kali & Uma from Bengal, by Rachel Fell McDermott.

The Dreaming Way: Dreamwork and Art for Remembering and Recovery, by Patricia Reis & Susan Snow.