Fat Strong Lady

For those of you who don't know, I do Olympic-Style Weightlifting and I love it.

Above is a video I made called "Fat Strong Lady." I made it to combat the bombardment of fat hatred, sizeism and bigotry in our culture. I used those three words as the title, because you rarely see those words used together.

I've been lifting for a few years. Here is a video of me at my first weightlifting competition, for those who would like more than photos of me clean and jerking 50 kilograms (102 lbs.) over my head, and here is a video of me snatching 36 kilograms (79.2 lbs.).

In this whole exercise/weightlifting odyssey I have been on, I have really let go of obsessing over the number on the scale. The only number I am focusing on is the weight on the bar. Muscle is much  more dense than fat, so already, the scale is not necessarily telling you what you think it is.

I've lived the majority of my life hating my body. It started when I was in the 2nd grade, when someone called me fat on the playground. All of a sudden, it didn't mean anything that I could always catch someone when we played tag, or that I was tetherball champion. All of a sudden I saw myself as fat and it all went downhill from there.

I have a photo in which I am 16 years old and it captures the worst of my body-hatred time. Ironically, at the height of my body-hatred, I weighed the least I have ever weighed in my teenage/adult life (150 lbs.). This is after a summer of crash dieting in which I lost 50 pounds in 3 months. I was hungry and cold, all the time - and I was still unhappy and miserable. I had people coming up to me in school and saying, "Good job, but you aren't going to stop there are you? You should lose at least another 30 pounds."  They said this because, even at my most anorexic self, I still had a big butt and big thighs - that's how my body is built.  I now am grateful for that butt and those thighs, because they help me lift big weights!

I have a lot more love and respect for my body now. I still struggle with self-hatred - on a daily basis sometimes, but turning 36 years old this week has reminded me that time is short and there is no reason not to love myself right now for who I am.

I know that the scale is God for so many people, and let me tell you, it feels so good to cast down that false idol.

So I raise my glass in a toast to all the big ladies out there, getting out into the world and doing their thing, no matter what anyone has to say about it.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT - LOVE YOURSELF.

And for those who are interested in reading fat-positive blogs (there are so many out there!), here is a (very short) list to get you started on your fat positive journey:

Big Fat Deal

Fatly Yours

The Rotund

The F Word

Getting Stronger

Yesterday I competed in my very first Olympic-style weightlifting competition. Those that know me know that a year ago, the idea of me competing in anything athletic was quite hard to imagine. And weightlifting? Do women over 25 even lift weights?

Thankfully, my beloved husband discovered an incredible fitness center/weightlifting gym near our home. Freddie & Niki Myles own and operate Myles Ahead and there really are no words to describe what a great and supportive environment these two amazing people have created together.

Despite my zaftig body, I have always enjoyed moving and exercising my body. I have a red belt in Tae Kwon Do and I am always the first one on the dance floor. I've found it interesting over the years to see how various people have reacted to seeing a large woman exercising or moving and enjoying her body. In the usual YMCAs, or 24-Hour Fitnesses women often (and yes, it is always women) come up to me and say "you've been on that elliptical for over an hour! Good for you!" Or, I'm out on the dance floor, losing myself in the music and dancing with my friends and someone comes up and says, "You've been dancing for hours! Good for you!"  Would these women say such things to a slender person? No, they wouldn't.

With men, it is usually worse. I have had completely outraged men yell at me in dance clubs, saying I had no business being there, wearing what I was wearing and calling me the most terrible names you can imagine. On the flip side, I have had the weirdest propositions from men - all larger ladies know what I'm talking about. It's almost like because our culture is so dismissive of us as sexual beings that any man that shows interest in us sexually must have a "fetish," instead of just appreciating a curvier woman. Thankfully, my life has been full of really wonderful, appreciative men who have helped me enjoy and love my body just the way it is.

Finishing a light Jerk of 40 kilos (88 lbs.)

I also had terrible luck with personal trainers (before I met Freddie & Niki Myles). They always assumed that I wanted to lose weight and not much else (like getting strong, getting more flexibility, having fun and all the other reasons we exercise). And they always assumed that I was weak. So many personal trainers have been shocked by my strength and endurance.

My experience at Myles Ahead was much different. Niki & Freddie greeted me with complete respect and total understanding that all bodies are unique, and that all bodies are strong in their own way. They showed me how strong I actually am and are continuing to help me get stronger - and they do it with laughter and kindness and joy in their hearts.  There really aren't words to describe what a gift these two people are to me and my life. I feel so lucky to know them.

I competed in the 2nd Annual Redwood Empire Championships in Cotati, California, yesterday. I did the snatch and the clean/jerk. I achieved a personal record of a 50kg clean/jerk (that's 110 lbs. that I jerked right over my head, people!). I also successfully lifted all six of my lifts!  I even won 2nd Place in my weight level (okay, there were only two of us!).

What I was most surprised by was how much FUN it was to be up on that platform, in front of so many people. I was completely shocked by that experience.

And I continue to get stronger. The wonderful thing about weightlifting is that you can keep lifting into your 80's and beyond. How many sports can you say that about?

What Would Jesus Buy?

Finally got a chance to watch What Would Jesus Buy? The Church of Stop Shopping is definitely a sister to the Church of Craft.

Not just at Christmas time, but at all times of the year, it is a powerful choice to not buy, but to make instead. Craftaluja!