Sunday, May 22, 2016

6 Months of Grief Project: Day 107

How Does This Work, Again?

This is Day 107 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Navigating the online dating world, when you have been married for 10 years is a strange trip. When I first met my husband, there were text-only forums online where you could chat with people and hope there was some sort of physical attraction when you actually met them in-person.

Nowadays, it's all about images and deciding in a split second whether or not you find someone attractive. Men seem to think that sending pictures of their man parts without asking first is a normal thing to do. Younger men contact me constantly, wanting some kind of "older woman/MILF" experience (I'm only 43!). It is rare to get messages with complete sentences, let alone interesting ones.

So why am I even bothering being on online dating sites? It's interesting. It's entertaining. It's distracting. I've had some fascinating conversations about music, gluten-free baking and where the best secret hot springs are. It is nice to be told how beautiful I am over and over again, even if sometimes it is just a hustle. I'm planning on making some art around the strange messages and conversations I have experienced. 

I'm fascinated by the women I know who will meet just about anyone they connect with online, including having one night stands with them. There is a certain kind of power in those life choices. I wonder if I will ever feel strong and brave enough to make a choice like that. Currently, I am sticking to old flames who are familiar and know me really well (not to mention, also knew my late husband). These relationships also have their complications, but they are familiar ones that I know how to navigate. 

One thing I am sure of, is that my late husband would definitely want me to get out into the world, have new experiences, meet new people and enjoy myself. He would want me to have new adventures and I know if he were here, and I asked, "should I go on a date with this guy?" He would almost always say, "sure, why not?"

I wish he were here, beside me looking at all these weird messages I get, laughing with me. Maybe he is.

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I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Living with Grief Resources:

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my InstagramTwitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.

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