Tonight marks the 6 month anniversary of my husband's death. Exactly half a year ago, I kissed my husband goodnight as he curled up next to me. About two hours later, his body started to convulse and within an hour he was dead. He was only 40-years old. He passed away right at the threshold of midnight, so I will forever see his death date as spanning two days and one night.
Anniversaries are brutal for sudden widows, not to mention any other survivor of the sudden death of a loved one, and hitting the half-year mark has been particularly painful. Time does not always heal. It can often feel like a thief in the night, who steals your loved one away from you - marking the days, weeks, months and then years that you are without them.
Since creating art and making is my spiritual practice, I have decided that I must return to making art every day around my grief. I have always really thrived with these kinds of daily practices, and I think this daily commitment will hold me in my grief as I get through these next 6 months. Now, that's not to say that I have not been creating over these past 6 months. You can see some of what I have created on my Instagram feed, as well as listening to my radio shows on Grief. But those moments have been sporadic and if I am to make it through these next 6 months, I really need a daily practice. So I am making a commitment, on this most important night, to my #6MonthsOfGrief Project.
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| Rest in Power, My Beloved Bear |
6 Months of Grief Project
Every day, for the next 6 months, I will create and share one creative piece, every day. My favorite media in the past has included drawing, painting, photography, writing and my radio program. I also will be doing rituals, which always have a creative component to them. I will share what I create here, on my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest page on Grief, and I will use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform.
The project will have an arbitrary ending on the one-year anniversary of his death. I hope that I keep creating art long after that, but all projects like this need an end date and I hope that the last offering in this project is a one-year grief ritual, honoring this year of living with grief.
I welcome any kind of support or connection around this process. Connecting with other widows has been one of my life savers.
I'm so very sorry to hear of your husband's death. There are no words, we all know that. He no doubt was a big energy, you can tell from the picture. You shared my "Still, Life" project which is how I found this project of yours. It is a long BITCH of a journey, especially with sudden loss, but creating saved me, transformed me, and kept me inching along these past few years until I began to be strong enough to live more, a little at a time.
ReplyDeleteKeep on creating, and keep on sharing it. Others need to see the power of creating, from as many as will share. I'll share your project on my business page too, hopefully to rally more people to create out of their pain and follow along with you, and head your story. Day by day, you'll make i through. No doubt your man is proud of you.
P.S. Have you heard of Soaring Spirits Intl or Camp Widow, their conference? Both have changed my "after" life in huge ways... I always share with fellow widows in case they're looking for more support. http://www.soaringspirits.org/
http://www.campwidow.org/
Thank you so much for your words and your witnessing and your art, Sarah! I was so moved by your work and I am so happy that my own little project touched you as well. I find such deep healing when I connect with and witness other widows. We are a diverse and powerful tribe.
DeleteYour husband looks like a lovely man and a real character. I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteA my dad's funeral, a friend who was widowed many year earlier said that the funeral was the hardest part. I said no, that was the day I had lot of loved ones around me and I could tell them about how much I loved my dad. The hard part would be living the rest of my life without him.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ali. I so resonate with what you are saying, about how the memorial was the day you had a lot of loved ones around you and that living the rest of your life without your dad is the hard part. I feel the same way. Thank you for sharing your story and for witnessing mine.
DeleteI'm sincerely touched by your post. I'm glad you can share....I don't even know what I would do.. You're strong. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for witnessing my journey, Lori. I am glad you are here.
DeleteI just found your project. I will start reading through it. I was not married, but we were engaged. I had known him since I was in third grade and he was in fourth grade and moved to our school. He died in my bed with me next to him and trying to save his life until the medics showed up. He did the same as your husband did and then leaned over, looked at me and then lay his head on my shoulder and stopped breathing. I know that we were not married, but I feel like a widow. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to do this. I look forward to knowing that other people that have been through the same get through it and see how you did it.
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