Lorraine Catherine Messing Kunigisky

My Grandmother, Lorraine

My grandmother, Lorraine Catherine Messing Kunigisky, passed away last week at the age of 89 years. Being her granddaughter was no bed of roses, but I learned a lot from her and have inherited her stubbornness, her sharp sense of humor and her love of creating and nature.

I have just returned from an intense but wonderful journey with my mother to South Beach, Oregon to lay my grandmother to rest and to meet and mourn with my family.

My uncle Dean asked me to hold the "spiritual" space for the family and I gladly obliged. As I was pondering what kind of ritual to do for my Grandmother, this wonderful idea popped into my head.

I went to the craft store and purchased some beautiful, smooth, brown river rocks. I then drew a golden spiral on each one.

After awhile, I had a giant pile of spiraled stones which I brought to the memorial service. I shared with my family and my Grandmother's friends why I chose to draw this spiral on all the stones. I wanted us all to remember that the circle is unbroken (as the old song says) and that even though Lorraine is no longer among the living, her spirit lives on in all of us - not just in our bodies and our blood, but in the stories we tell about her.

We held the memorial service in my Grandmother's house, because that's where she liked best to be and it is filled with her art and her vision of the world.

I learned so much about my Grandmother in that circle. As we sat and shared stories, I learned more about the store she opened in Niagara Falls, NY called Piquant. She sold some wild and beautiful things in that store and sadly, Niagara Falls in the 1960's was not ready for such cool and wild art!

She is also the first person in my life to not be cremated and she actually purchased a burial plot in the Eureka Cemetery in Newport, Oregon.  My mother and I went to her burial place, where the earth was still raw and wet.  It was a very powerful moment for me to look at this "freshly dug" grave and know that my Grandmother's shell of a body was lying just beneath.

Many people took the stones I created home with them, to remember Lorraine by - but those that were left I put on her grave. So the stones that soaked up the power of our circle can now be a part of her grave. 

All in all, a very powerful experience.

And I am so thankful to have re-connected with my cousins, whom I have not seen or talked to since I was about 12 years old.  We are all part Lithuanian on my Grandfather's side. Here is a photo of us all together:

(top row) My Uncle Dean, My Aunt Karen, My Cousin Chris, My Cousin Rich, My Mom
(bottom row) My Aunt Marjorie, My Cousin Trina, Myself and my Nephew Nathan

What It Is

a page from "What It Is" by Lynda Barry

One of my favorite artists and free thinkers is Lynda Barry. There is a wonderful interview with her in the New York Times. It includes a really wonderful slide show where you can hear her voice and look at pages from her upcoming book What It Is, which will be released May 13th.

The book highlights the workshops she offers (which I have heard from someone who has experienced them first-hand, that they are not to be missed!). The new book is laid out like a wild and free "activity book." It reminds me of Keri Smith's Wreck This Journal, in which she asks us to do all kinds of fun things like tear pages out of the book and rub dirt on the pages.

Here is a quote from the article:

What It Is...could be considered a picture book for grown-ups. Using ink brush, pen and pencil drawings as well as collages and luminous watercolors, many of them on lined
yellow legal paper, it explores deep philosophical questions like “What Is an Image?” (The answer, Ms. Barry says, is something “at the center of everything we call the arts.”) It also includes an activity book, instructions, assignments and several passages of purely autobiographical writing and drawing in which Ms. Barry recounts her own journey to making art.

I have always loved how raw and honest Lynda's comics are. Her artistic process completely fascinates me. She is one of those creators that has to create, no matter what. In the article, Lynda says, “I think of images as an immune system and a transit system." I cannot wait for this book to come out! I am always searching for new inspiration and connection with other artists that do not fit into the usual boxes and Lynda Barry is most definitely one of them!

For more great reading, check out the Tin House interview with Lynda here:
http://www.rit.edu/~cwg/media/pdfs/LBarry-TinHouse-Interview.pdf
http://www.rit.edu/~cwg/media/pdfs/LBarry-TinHouse-Novel.pdf

A Church of Her Own

I just received my copy of the wonderful new book A Church of Her Own: What Happens When a Woman Takes the Pulpit by Sarah Sentilles.

First, a disclaimer - I was interviewed for this book and a big part of my spiritual story are highlighted in the chapter entitled Minister (n.) vs. Minister (v.), along with The Most Esteemed Callie Janoff, who co-created the Church of Craft with me.

I've been reading the book and it's a wonderful read. Sarah's writing style is very accessible - almost like I'm getting to peek into her journal and read all her intimate thoughts about her own path of ministry and spiritual service.

The layout of the book is wonderful. We follow Sarah's journey as she feels the call to ministry and discovers a lot of difficult challenges along the way. We also get to read the stories of many other women who have also hit challenges on their ministry paths. Some of the stories brought tears to my eyes, as I recognized the frustrating circumstances that these powerful, visionary women ran into when they tried to own their own power in a male-dominated world.

I feel that the deeper message of the book is incredibly powerful. A quote from the introductory chapter explains it well:

The problems faced by women ministers cannot be dismissed as "women's" problems. They belong to all of us, whether you have a female minister in your church or not, whether you attend church or not, whether you think your congregation is sexist or not, even whether you are Christian or not. None of us - even those of us outside the church - is exempt from the reverberations of religious institutions' failings. Churches' treatment of women and women's reactions to this treatment are symptoms of a larger problem, indicative of the broader ways the church needs to change. What we do and say and believe in church is connected to what we do and say an believe in our everyday lives. Our theology is linked to the state of the world - to war and poverty and environmental destruction and reckless consumerism - and it is time that we held ourselves accountable.

I truly think these stories would resonate with other women who have run into inherent sexism on their paths as well. It's an inspiring read and it certainly has helped me feel less alone on my path. It would also be an excellent read for any man that wants to understand the myriad ways that sexism can manifest in our culture.

The interviews are with women from all different faith backgrounds, including some wild, Interfaith revolutionary spiritual leaders like Callie and myself! I have to say, I was reading the book in a cafe and I got so many looks! The cover is quite austere - with a circle of golden crosses surrounding one lone female symbol, but don't let that scare you off from reading this wonderful book.  It is most definitely for people of all spiritual paths who are interested in understanding more deeply the role that sexism plays in our society and how we can transform our culture to a more encompassing and equal experience.

P.S. There's another great review of this book on the wonderful blog Viva La Feminista!