6 Months of Grief Project: Day 6

During the Grief, the laundry (plus one furry "helper")

This is Day 6 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Sometimes it seems like my life as a widow is a series of pile management. I sift through paperwork. I throw out old, broken things. I put things in new places. I find homes for extra hammers and a giant keyboard. And through all this, the never-ending piles of laundry. Of course, now that my giant bear of a husband has passed away, the laundry I have to do has been cut in half, but because of this, I think I let it go much longer than I should. 

When I look at today's picture (can you spot my silly, little, furry boy?) I think of Buddhist teacher and author, Jack Kornfield's book, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry. In his words, “Unbounded freedom and joy, oneness with the divine ... these experiences are more common than you know, and not far away.” But what happens after you feel that unbounded freedom, joy and oneness with the divine? What happens "after the ecstasy?" We return to our imperfect lives, trying to hold on to some of that spiritual ecstasy. Bur for me in my life right now, the title of the book should be "After the Grief, the Laundry..." and to be truly honest, it's more like "During the Grief, the Laundry."

I have to get things done. I have to take care of myself. I have to wash dishes and feed myself. Sometimes I can't do it, and I curl up under the covers and hide from the world. And then, after the deep grief, and before the next bout of deep grief, I get up and I do the freakin' laundry.

I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

• Grief Bibliography on Grief Healing 

• The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow

• A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

• Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief 

• The Sun Magazine interview with Francis Weller, called The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses by Tim McKee

• The poetry of John O’Donohue

• How to Be a Friend in Deed by Bruce Feiler in the New York Times

• 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.