This is Day 65 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.
It feels like I slept through the entire weekend. My first week at my new job, made me so anxious that I barely got any sleep so I crashed hard over the weekend. This means that the long list of stuff I wanted to get done remained undone, and will have to wait. That is my life now. I do the bare minimum to survive. My thoughts are scattered in my head, and while all the pieces interlock they don't seem to lead me anywhere concrete. They lead me to a life of chaotic confusion and uncertainty. I'm hoping that once I get my sea legs at my new job, I will start to have space and brain power to get a few other pieces of my life figured out, but for now I just survive each day - just get through it. It is not a happy life, but some part of me is having some tiny glimmers of hope that it may be happy someday.
I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:
Art with Grief:
- Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong
- When the Fall Comes, a film about Grief by Adriana Marchione
- Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?
- The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow
- The poetry of John O’Donohue
Living with Grief Resources:
- Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
- They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
- A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit
- The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine
- 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine
Thank you, and see you tomorrow.