|Where the Big Boys Eat|
This is Day 68 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.
Every time I drive to the gym, I pass this restaurant. It features a giant lumberjack who has an eerie resemblance to my husband. So much so, that they once hired him to stand out on the corner, dressed as a lumberjack, carrying a giant axe, to bring in customers. A cop eventually told him he couldn't stand by the street swinging a giant axe around and his short-lived gig as a living mascot was over. I wish I had video or even a photo of this momentous event, but alas, I cannot find any (so instead, I share a photo of him in his homemade cupcake costume, below).
Every time I drive by the sign for this restaurant, I cry a little bit. The expression on this fictional lumberjack so perfectly mimics my husband's smile that it shakes me to the core. I've come to ready myself for this moment, every time I drive by. My body tenses up, I grip the steering wheel tightly and I start breathing as deeply as possible. Some days I can't face it and I take the long way around, so I don't have to drive by it.
These micro-moments of heartbreak can really add up and take their toll. Maybe someday this stupid sign won't make me hurt so much. Maybe this sorrow will shift, now that I have talked about it out in the open, with all of you.
I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:
Art with Grief:
- Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong
- When the Fall Comes, a film about Grief by Adriana Marchione
- Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?
- The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow
- The poetry of John O’Donohue
Living with Grief Resources:
- Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
- They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
- A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit
- The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine
- 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine
Thank you, and see you tomorrow.