Wednesday, July 6, 2016

6 Months of Grief Project: Day 152

11 Months Gone

This is Day 152 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Tonight, at midnight, he will have been gone for 11 months. This number makes no sense to me. In one month exactly, he will have been gone a year. Other widows have told me that the first anniversary passes relatively easily and quickly — that it's the two year anniversary that hits the hardest. I don't look forward to that, because this one is hard enough.

Today I hugged a friend who, while not as tall as my husband was, is still very tall and also has broad shoulders like my husband had. Before I even knew what hit me, I burst into tears. His hug was the closest I have felt to what it felt like to hug my husband and that deep, body feeling overwhelmed me. I miss my beloved's hugs. I miss his huge chest and his furry beard and his butterfly kisses on my eyelids. I miss his huge hands on my body. I miss the deep sighs he would make while he slept. I miss everything about him.

We were like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. Now there is an empty hole where his piece used to fit inside me, and we no longer can create the bigger image of the sun, or the trees or the moon. Now I am just a confusing, solitary piece that makes no sense on her own. There is nowhere to fit me into the puzzle — into the greater image.


I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Living with Grief Resources:

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my InstagramTwitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.

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