Friday, February 1, 2013

Be Your Own Beloved # 1

My finger toes grabbing my kitty Vixen's furry feet.

As I continue to re-open to my creative spirit after what seems like a LONG sabbatical, I am finding a lot of power in participating in simple but daily acts of making. Sometimes it's easy for me to do, but mostly it's difficult to commit to creating something every single day. That's why classes and workshops are so great! Deadlines and fellow students to connect with, as well as a nurturing guide and teacher, has helped me find my way back to my daily, spiritual practice of making.

My first foray back into the world of daily making through taking a class was with Flora Bowley's excellent painting e-course Bloom True. I have yet to share any images of my paintings, but since you are here visiting what often feels like a bit of a lonely blog, I'll give you a sneak peek! Please remember that this painting is UNFINISHED. Just one step in the process. I do love documenting my painting process. It's amazing to see how my paintings transform over the weeks and months. I used to be afraid that I would never finish a painting if I keep layering like this. But when I start to think like that, the fear sets in and I can't lift the brush. So I'm giving myself permission to possibly NEVER finish my paintings.

unfinished painting, tentatively entitled "The Owlet"

And this particular painting is very dear to me. I cried a lot while painting this little girl. I realized it was the part of me that MISSED playing and making every day. She's been waiting for me to pick my brushes back up and return to my creative, spiritual world.

And now (starting today!), I'm taking Vivienne McMaster's Be Your Own Beloved 28 Photo Day Adventure. I love her simple, lovely description of the e-course:

Be Your Own Beloved is a 28 day photo adventure designed to cultivate self-reflection and self-compassion through the practice of taking self-portraits. They say it takes 28 days to change or start a new habit, so in the month of February, you are invited to take a small yet powerful action each day to be your own beloved this February and cultivate self-love and self-care during the month that is so focused on external love.

Self-Love is a big one for me. I struggle with it, daily. So I loved Vivienne's description of this e-course. Taking a self-portrait can be so challenging! All my body issues come up. I worry that it won't be "pretty." And in fact, her first assignment asked us to take a photo exactly at the moment we read her first e-mail. But my toes aren't painted! But my kitty is chewing on my feet! But I took the photo anyway. And I love it!

 I hope that I can take a photo a day. I am really committed to this. I am also ready for what may come up to sabotage and stop me. It's all part of the process! Staying open. Staying free. Staying authentic.

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