6 Months of Grief Project: Day 26

Tender Moments

This is Day 26 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Sharing this project online is a very vulnerable act. I do it because I need to be seen and witnessed in my process. I do it because I know it is helping other widows and those living with grief and loss. I do it to better understand my own grief and loss. I do it so that my grief has a healthy outlet, instead of side-swiping me in the middle of the night. It is an intimate space and some people have reached out to me to tell me that this project is "too much." That I shouldn't have any nudity. That I shouldn't speak so freely. Why is this so frightening to some people? Why does my vulnerability make others want to censor me?

I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for sharing my truth. I will not apologize for being vulnerable. When I was ordained at the Chaplaincy Institute in 2005, our ordination group wrote our own vows and one of those vows was "Power in vulnerability." More and more, I am living that vow. There is nothing more powerful than showing our vulnerabilities - letting the whole world see us in our darkest moments. It takes courage to show these vulnerable places and when I share them, I become even stronger.

Where is a place in your life, where you can feel power in showing your vulnerability?

I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Art with Grief:

• Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong

• Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?

• The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow

• The poetry of John O’Donohue

Resources for Widows:

• Camp Widow

• Soaring Spirits International

Living with Grief Resources:

• Grief Bibliography on Grief Healing

• Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
• They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
• A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

• Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief

• The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine

• How to Be a Friend in Deed by Bruce Feiler in the New York Times

• 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.