|Is There No End?|
This is Day 71 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.
I want to fill my body up with pine cones and decaying leaves. I want to pack moss into my broken heart. I want to cover my body in compost and worms and let nature take the pain back. I want to disintegrate. I want to peel my flesh off in strips and hang them on a tree branch for the bears to eat. I want to squeeze every last tear out of my eyes and feed them to hummingbirds. I want to tear my hair out in chunks and let the birds make nests from them. I want to throw my bones on the fire and watch them burn.
I'm so tired. I'm so tired of keeping it together. I'm so tired of forcing my brain and body to work when all they want to do is cry and sleep. I'm so tired of forms and taxes and waiting on hold. I'm so tired of coming home to an empty house. I'm so tired of surviving. I'm so tired.
I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:
Art with Grief:
- Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong
- When the Fall Comes, a film about Grief by Adriana Marchione
- Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?
- The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow
- The poetry of John O’Donohue
Living with Grief Resources:
- Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
- They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
- A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit
- The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine
- 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine
Thank you, and see you tomorrow.