6 Months of Grief Project: Day 74

Worm Party Legacy

This is Day 74 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

My husband was a worm farmer. We composted a lot of our food scraps and when he died, I was left to manage this vibrant community of worms. So I diligently truck out to the worm bin and feed them my scraps weekly. It always makes me feel kind of sad, because Justin loved his worms and to me, they feel more like a chore. I don't appreciate them the way he did. 

I tried to give this vibrant worm farm away for quite awhile and no one wanted them. Finally, it came up at my new job that I was trying to give these worms away and it turns out one of my co-workers is really into growing things and loves taking care of worms and teaching others how to compost and care for worms. Tonight she came over and picked up the farm and we could both feel how happy my late husband was that his precious worms were going to someone who will really love them and care for them. She's going to teach kids and adults how to compost with them. They will be teacher worms.

I was a little sad to see them go, but mostly I feel very relieved. I don't have to worry about them anymore. I don't have to make the sad trek out to the worm farm anymore. I don't have to feel how deeply my husband is gone, every time I look inside it. And just in time, my garbage service is now letting us put all our food scraps in the green bin, so I will still be composting. I am thankful when things like this work out. I am thankful for the ways my husband seems to still be able to help me, even though he has left this plane of existence.

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I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Art with Grief:

• Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong
• When the Fall Comes, a film about Grief by Adriana Marchione
• Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?
• The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow
• The poetry of John O’Donohue

Resources for Widows:

• Widowed Village
• Camp Widow

• Soaring Spirits International

Living with Grief Resources:

• Modern Loss's excellent resource list
• Grief Bibliography on Grief Healing

• Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
• They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
• A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

• Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief

• The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine

• How to Be a Friend in Deed by Bruce Feiler in the New York Times

• 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.