Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Be Your Own Beloved #5

Every day, I am taking a self-portrait in conjunction with Vivienne McMaster's Be Your Own Beloved e-course.

Movement & Stillness

Today, Vivienne asked us to explore how either movement or stillness can be an invitation to be present in our bodies. She has also talked about how we might be starting to feel some resistance to this project. The first four assignments flowed easily for me. This was the first day that I experienced some resistance and struggle. I didn't want to do something "boring" and "expected" like twirling around in a pretty dress (even though, that's what I wanted so much to do!). So I sat with my resistance and then let myself twirl in a pretty dress and take lots of pictures!

Once I had worked through a little of that resistance (through being kind to myself and giving myself permission to be "boring"), I felt a little more free to explore. I used the QuadCamera app, to capture four moments of stillness while in movement. I made myself dizzy, spinning around and trying to keep the camera steady! I took more photos in one session than I have since beginning this project, and it was also REALLY DIFFICULT to pick the "final photo" to represent today's theme. I finally decided on this one and immediately I had more resistance. Vivienne had asked us to share ONE picture per day - am I "breaking the rules" because this photo technically has four images? And what about the fact that one of the images is just my back-yard? There is such a harsh, critical judge in me! After more self-soothing and self-kindness, I found my way to forgiveness and gentleness. This is the photo I want to use and that's perfect.

I am really amazed and moved by how such a simple act of taking a self-portrait-a-day can bring up SO MUCH in me! It's really an amazing and powerful spiritual practice!

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