6 Months of Grief Project: Day 53

The Power of 2

This is Day 53 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

While my friend Johanna was visiting, we got a lot of stupid Widow Errands done that I just could not face doing by myself. A lot of those errands involved the bank, including trading in a large bag full of rolled coins. My husband was chaotic with money, and this chaotic relationship included even the coins in his pocket. Whenever he came home, he would dump his pockets out, all over the kitchen table, until I finally got him a box to keep by the door and empty his pockets into. When he passed away, that box was one of the many that I excavated and I couldn't believe the volume of coins I found inside of it.

Origami $2 - learn how to fold your own!

When Johanna and I went to the bank to both close his checking account and trade in these rolled coins, Johanna asked that we get as much of the money as we could in $2 bills. She has a really great philosophy about the power of the $2 bill to shake things up in a local economy. It's a strange form of currency that we often forget exists. There is no slot for it in the cash drawers. It even throws off the bank teller when she's counting out your money - even she is unfamiliar with this unique form of cash. $2 bring the weirdoes together and I feel lucky to have been inducted into this secret society of $2 bill users. I made sure to spread my $2 bills all around Petaluma and beyond - forcing everyone to pause and take a moment to think differently, amidst their droning, capitalistic day. There's even a documentary film about how the $2 bill connects people.

2 of the $2(!) we received are today's grief image. I decided to keep them, because they are Wild West Sonoma County 2's, with their bullet hole/cigarillo burn marks. I keep them by my bed to remind me the power of the alternative 2's. I keep them by my bed because my husband was as unique and odd as a $2 bill. I keep them by my bed to remind me that even though the other half of my 2 is gone, I still have a tribe of beautiful weirdoes out there in the world, and something as simple as a $2 bill can help me find them.

_____________________

I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Art with Grief:

• Photographer [Sarah Treanor] Takes Moving Self-Portraits to Cope with Her Fiance's Death by Jillian Wong
• When the Fall Comes, a film about Grief by Adriana Marchione
• Self-Portraits: Expressing Emotion Through Art on What's Your Grief?
• The Hard Romance of Grief by Mark Liebenow
• The poetry of John O’Donohue

Resources for Widows:

• Camp Widow

• Soaring Spirits International

Living with Grief Resources:

• Modern Loss's excellent resource list
• Grief Bibliography on Grief Healing

• Teresa “TL” Bruce's What to Say When Someone Dies
• They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain by Ann Finkbeiner on NPR
• A Field Guide to Getting Lost by Rebecca Solnit

• Megan Devine’s Refuge in Grief

• The Geography of Sorrow: Francis Weller on Navigating Our Loses, interviewed by Tim McKee in Sun Magazine

• How to Be a Friend in Deed by Bruce Feiler in the New York Times

• 12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without by Laurie Costanza in Elephant Magazine

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.