Tuesday, May 10, 2016

6 Months of Grief Project: Day 95

The Last Photo I Ever Took of Him

This is Day 95 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Today's image is sourced from the very last photo I ever took of my husband. It was my birthday and I was feeling sad and unsure of how to celebrate turning 43-years-old. I was in shock that I had suddenly hit middle-age with no warning and I did not know how to get out of my funk and celebrate my birth and my life.

So my husband rallied and gathered up some good friends and we all met at an outdoor brew pub in Oakland. It was a sweet, fun, easy, silly evening. My husband was so good at rallying. He was so good at pulling me out of my funk. He always made sure I celebrated my birthday. He knew inside I was a extroverted Leo who needed to be with friends, no matter how I was feeling and he always made sure that happened.

That night, I noticed he was much more tired than usual. In fact, he seemed tired all the time, but I just chalked it up to the immense stress he was living with, while trying to get his business out of debt.

He died less than a month after this photo was taken.

My 44th birthday is in a little over two months and I don't want to celebrate it. Another year of my life means a year further away from him. I don't know how to process these feelings. It feels like my heart is breaking all over again.


I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Living with Grief Resources:

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.

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