Surviving Year Two: Week 7

Calistoga Dreaming

This is Week 7 of my Surviving Year Two Grief Project. Details about all my Grief Projects, as well as Grief Resources can be found here.

I got to spend the weekend in Calistoga, California with one of my very best friends in the world. She's in the Bay Area, working on a project and was able to take the weekend off and have a soak with me in one of my favorite places in the world.

Now that I work full-time, I've learned how to shut my brain off very quickly for short bursts of time. This weekend I think I leveled up in this very important super power, because I barely thought about work once while I floated in the pools, ate sushi and giggled with my friend.

I am grateful to know the secret locations, both geographically and in my heart, that resonate deeply within my soul and make me feel better. I am grateful for old friends who knew me, not only before I met my late husband, but before I was even really an adult. I am grateful for soft moments that I can dip into and relish as deeply as I can.

My goal this week and moving forwards, is to keep the softness of Calistoga alive in my soul as I return to work, and weightlifting and grocery shopping and all the harder parts of my current, grieving, widowed life. Maybe that means taking more baths. Maybe that means buying a nice lotion for myself. Maybe that means wearing softer clothes. I need to learn how to care for myself in a new way, because the man who cared for me so deeply is gone now. I must learn how to do my own self-care in a way I think I never learned or knew how to do on my own. I am learning. I remain hopeful.

Thank you for witnessing me. See you next week.