Saturday, February 2, 2013

Be Your Own Beloved #2

Every day, I am taking a self-portrait in conjunction with Vivienne McMaster's Be Your Own Beloved e-course.
Dancing in my Studio

Today's assignment is to document what nourishes us. I have many answers to this question, including gardening, reading, lifting weights, talking with friends, kissing my husband, painting, taking a bath... the list is long. But today I decided to document myself dancing. Part of the assignment was to document a nourishing experience that we might forget about, and need reminding of later. I often forget how much I LOVE to dance. When I am feeling down or dark, often all it takes to shake myself out of my funk is to put on some of my favorite music and literally shake off the bad feelings!

This also feels like a good picture for Imbolc (which is today). Also known as "Candlemass" or the "Feast for St. Brigid," it marks the Northern Hemisphere's moment halfway between Winter & Spring. The Sun is out. The freezing weather seems to have stopped killing my plants and I'm ready to dance!

How do you nourish yourself?

Friday, February 1, 2013

Be Your Own Beloved # 1

My finger toes grabbing my kitty Vixen's furry feet.

As I continue to re-open to my creative spirit after what seems like a LONG sabbatical, I am finding a lot of power in participating in simple but daily acts of making. Sometimes it's easy for me to do, but mostly it's difficult to commit to creating something every single day. That's why classes and workshops are so great! Deadlines and fellow students to connect with, as well as a nurturing guide and teacher, has helped me find my way back to my daily, spiritual practice of making.

My first foray back into the world of daily making through taking a class was with Flora Bowley's excellent painting e-course Bloom True. I have yet to share any images of my paintings, but since you are here visiting what often feels like a bit of a lonely blog, I'll give you a sneak peek! Please remember that this painting is UNFINISHED. Just one step in the process. I do love documenting my painting process. It's amazing to see how my paintings transform over the weeks and months. I used to be afraid that I would never finish a painting if I keep layering like this. But when I start to think like that, the fear sets in and I can't lift the brush. So I'm giving myself permission to possibly NEVER finish my paintings.

unfinished painting, tentatively entitled "The Owlet"

And this particular painting is very dear to me. I cried a lot while painting this little girl. I realized it was the part of me that MISSED playing and making every day. She's been waiting for me to pick my brushes back up and return to my creative, spiritual world.

And now (starting today!), I'm taking Vivienne McMaster's Be Your Own Beloved 28 Photo Day Adventure. I love her simple, lovely description of the e-course:

Be Your Own Beloved is a 28 day photo adventure designed to cultivate self-reflection and self-compassion through the practice of taking self-portraits. They say it takes 28 days to change or start a new habit, so in the month of February, you are invited to take a small yet powerful action each day to be your own beloved this February and cultivate self-love and self-care during the month that is so focused on external love.

Self-Love is a big one for me. I struggle with it, daily. So I loved Vivienne's description of this e-course. Taking a self-portrait can be so challenging! All my body issues come up. I worry that it won't be "pretty." And in fact, her first assignment asked us to take a photo exactly at the moment we read her first e-mail. But my toes aren't painted! But my kitty is chewing on my feet! But I took the photo anyway. And I love it!

 I hope that I can take a photo a day. I am really committed to this. I am also ready for what may come up to sabotage and stop me. It's all part of the process! Staying open. Staying free. Staying authentic.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year

Costume Party Red on Red on Red!
As I get ready to go out and ring in the New Year, I am reminded of one of my most favorite songs in the entire world. I actually created an entire mix around this song, and how I feel about this coming year. You can listen on my station at 8Tracks.

Ms. Nina Simone's "22nd Century":


There is no oxygen in the air
Men and women have lost their hair
Ashen faces, legs that stand
Ghosts and goblins walk in this land
When tomorrow becomes yesterday
And tomorrow becomes eternity
When the soul, with the soul, goes away beyond
When life is taken and there are no more babies born
And there is no one, and there is everyone
When there is no one, and there is everyone

Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
It will be, it will be, it will be!

21st century was here and gone
And the 20th century was the dawn
The beginning of the end was the 21st
When the 20th century was at an end

1990 was the year when the plagues struck the earth
1988 was the year when men and women
Struck out for freedom
And bloodletting was the thing that was

People said there was no god
And there was no reason
And there was no cause

1972 was right, all the way 
Drums and bugles blasting, all though the day 
Right wing, left wing, middle of the road 
Side winder, back-swinger, backlash, whiplash 
Race stockings, red stockings 
Liberation of women, liberation of men 
Everybody carrying a heavy load

Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
It will be, it will be, it will be 
It will be!

Liberation of animals
Prevention of cruelty to animals - men and beast
Flying and on flying, flying things
Revolution of music, poetry, love and life
Sex change... change... changing
Man is woman, woman is man 
Even your brain is not your brain
Your heart is a plastic thing which can be bought
There are no more diseases which can be caught

Man became the thing that he worships
Man today, became his god
That was the day that man and woman truly became born
Man became his good
Man became his evil
Man became his god
And man became his devil

Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
It will be, it will be, it will be ahh

Young women without money caught
Big dogs living in marble lofts
Young men die in spring
Boys of 7, falling in love 
Give that lady fair, a diamond ring
Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding
No, a wedding ain't the thing
Don't want no preacher
Don't want no preacher man, preachin'
Give me your hand and take my hand
This is better than anybody's preacher man
Truth
Truth is now unfold
It says 7 years
7 years, so I am told
Don't sway me over
Don't try to sway me over, to your day
On your day
Your day will go away

Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
Tomorrow will be the 22nd century
It will be, it will be, it will be ahh

Oh tomorrow will be the 22nd century
It will be, it will be, it will be
It will be, it will be, it will be, it will be, it will be!

Here's to new beginnings and creating the life and world YOU want to live in.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Magic Meanderings

"Turk" the Tuxedo Cat I met on my walk today.
He is eating grass next to my sketchbook.

One of my favorite things to do is wander older neighborhoods. I love old houses and I love gardens, and the two often go hand-in-hand. I try to go on these journeys mid-week, because, while I love talking to people and making new friends, these wanderings are more for quiet solitude and peacefulness in my heart. I find that mid-week, most of these neighborhoods are relatively quiet and empty, except for the fantastic neighborhood cats who always come out to greet me and get lots of love and pets.

I always bring my sketchbook so I can sketch interesting shapes, that will later work their way (or not) into my paintings (a great tool I learned from the fantastic Flora Bowley, whose Brave Intuitive You: Bloom True e-course, I am currently taking). Today I sketched stone walls and acorns and fence posts and growing gourds, just to name a few.


Tree Pods and Old Houses.

I had to go to the doctor today, and that always stresses me out. I am so glad that I gave myself this gift to go walking beforehand. I had an intention to do this every week, especially before the rainy-season started, and yet here we are in October and I have only made these walks twice this Summer/Fall! Why do I deny myself this simple, easy, free experience? I think there is a very fierce voice in my head that thinks I don't "deserve" to space out and walk around for a few hours. It's this very old voice that is a fierce task-master. This voice (I call her "Greta" and picture her as a giant German Mistress) often yells at me to "work harder" and whatever I do is never enough for her. I'm trying to not listen to her and follow my deeper, soulful instincts that call me to walk and dream and draw.

I also make sure to bring along my I-Phone, so I can also catch images that my sketchbook cannot. I'm always looking for new garden growing and design ideas. I've also been hunting for a Gardening Guru - someone I could visit and play in the dirt with, while s/he teaches me new gardening magic I can apply to my own rough garden. I really want a magical garden, full of color and beauty, but my poor garden gets all-day hot sun, so it's hard to create a "lush" feeling here!

Gorgeous stairs leading to a very secluded house. Dare I climb them?
 I also use this time to play around with some of my favorite I-Phone filter apps. I know that it's starting to "not be cool" to use these filters. I've noticed all the photo sharing sites are using #NoFilter tags with pride, but I still enjoy playing with filters. The app I'm using today with these photos is Toy Camera, which is really fun.

Oak Hill Park, Petaluma, CA
Another aspect of my walking magic is putting out an intention before my walk. I learned this trick from SARK and her "Miracle Walks." Sometimes I ask to "have an adventure" and sometimes it's "discover something new." Today, I asked to "find a secret place," and sure enough, I did! I came across Oak Hill Park, a park I did not know existed. It has a lot of old trees and even older giant stones. It's also a dog park, which is always fun, as it's impossible for me to be sad when dogs are running around with crazy smiles, feeling free.

As I wandered to the back of the park, what do I discover but a stone, outdoor labyrinth! Talk about "discovering something new!" I adore labyrinths. Walking them always calm me and I have walked just about every labyrinth in the Bay Area (find a labyrinth near you here!)  This one was a bit dusty, and the nearby kid party (on a Tuesday afternoon?) was distracting, but I was still able to calm myself down and focus enough to block out the distractions and focus on my own prayers. It was really perfect to finish my walk here.

What's a simple, easy gift of peace and creativity you can give yourself this week?

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

40th Birthday Crown

40th Birthday Crown
made entirely of scavenged jewelry
instant photo taken with my Instax
When I turned 40 this Summer, I really wanted to create a special crown to wear.

I'd had this idea for awhile to make a crown made entirely of scavenged costume jewelry.

Thankfully, my husband's business finds weird stuff all the time, so I have quite a selection.

I ended up making this really fun crown!

I finished it in time for my mid-July birthday, and wore it all through camping party by the Russian River. It was truly magical!

I highly recommend making a ritual object you can wear, be it a crown, or a necklace or a garment. It's good art magic!

Includes old lady pins & earrings.
Big thanks to my friend's Suzi's mother,
for her jewelry as well!