Friday, March 25, 2016

6 Months of Grief Project: Day 49

Old Grief

This is Day 49 of my #6MonthsOfGrief Project. To learn more about this practice, feel free to visit Day One, where I explain this project in more detail.

Today there is an old darkness enveloping me. Growing up an only child, I spent a lot of time alone. I got used to people disappearing and abandoning me. I thought I would never find someone who really loved and cared for me and would be my partner through life.

Then I met my husband and I finally felt like I wasn't alone. I shared my life with him. And even though we had some major bumps in the road, I felt like he would never abandon me. We were committed to our marriage and our life together.

Then he died, and all my old abandonment issues rose up again, knocking me over and taking my breath away. Of course I don't get to have a life partner. Of course I am meant to be alone. Today I feel the abandonment so deeply. I feel the dark, old grief creeping up and slipping its slippery fingers down my throat and choking me. Today I feel the emptiness of a broken heart. I will live through this, but today things are dark.


I am very aware that this project can bring up a lot around yours or other's grief and loss, I will always follow every post with some online grief support resources that have helped me. Please feel free to let me know of online support that you have found healing in your grief, as well:

Living with Grief Resources:

And remember, I am sharing this project on a variety of platforms, including my Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook feeds, as well as my Pinterest page on Grief. I use the hashtag #6MonthsOfGrief, so it can easily be found on any platform. Please share this project with anyone you think might need it.

Thank you, and see you tomorrow.

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